Catch Her If You Can
by LeeCan
Summary: Dark tale about the realities of being a spy. I needed to expand the Characters of our favorite show a bit. Hope I don't offend anyone. Not my intent.
1. Chapter 1

Untitled

Catch Me If You Can

Prologue

"You may now kiss the bride," the pastor said.

Both Chuck and Sarah smiled openly as they moved in for the kiss Chuck never thought he'd have. He grabbed her by the shoulders and pulled her towards him. After a few seconds the small gathering began to shout encouragement to the couple.

Finally, breaking free, Chuck gazed into her eyes and was gratified to see the same love shinning back that he felt for her.

Later, as they walked out of the church, they were greeted with what seemed like thousands of bubbles. They quickly jumped into Sarah's Porsche and sped away for their honeymoon.

That was two months ago and now Chuck sat on his sofa stroking his new bride's hair while watching one of those dinosaur shows on the Discovery channel. He could not believe how things had turned out. It seemed as though he and Sarah were going nowhere for the longest time. Then suddenly, everything changed in the blink of an eye. And now he was stroking her hair as she slept with her head on his lap.

He looked down at her and was awestruck by her beauty. He silently thanked God for giving him the precious gift of Sarah Walker. He still found it hard to believe that she fell in love with him.

He bent down and kissed her on the brow and her eyelids fluttered open. She looked into his eyes and smiled a sleepy smile. "Hey, how long have I been out?"

"Probably about thirty minutes. Long enough to miss the Utah Raptor," he said smiling down at her.

"Aw, you'll have to fill me in later on."

"You've gotta deal there," he said and they shared a smile.

"I'm hungry, you want anything to eat?" Sarah said. "I was thinking about making some motes. What do you say?"

"I can't turn down motes," Chuck said lovingly as she stood up to go into the kitchen. Chuck had just learned that motes were one of Sarah's specialties, hot oatmeal, drowning in butter and served with tons of brown sugar. They are guaranteed to clog your arteries within the hour but your cholesterol will improve. But as Chuck had recently learned a bowl of Sarah's motes were worth every blockage.

After they ate, they talked over the TV shows they pretended to watch. One of the things Chuck loved the most about Sarah was the fact that they could talk about anything. It seemed as though any subject held her interest. He had never met anyone so special in his whole life. He was amazed that she was lying on his lap looking up into his eyes as they discussed the ramification of the new propane school buses that had recently made the news.

He stroked her hair as they talked and he saw that she was starting to get sleepy.

"Come on sleepy head. We've got to go to work in the morning. We better get to sleep."

"Yeah, I'm getting tired. You mind if all we do tonight is sleep?" she said.

"I guess…just this one time. But you're gonna owe me," he said with mock seriousness.

"I already owe you Chuck Bartowski. I owe you for sweeping me off my feet. I owe you for changing the way I look at the world." She looked at him earnestly. "I hope you know that."

He just smiled at her. "Come on sweetie, someone needs their beauty sleep."

Ten minutes later, Chuck was lying next to Sarah, his right arm draped over her waist. He loved to sleep with his arm around her. For someone so dangerous, she sure had a tiny waist. He couldn't get over the incongruence that was Sarah Walker. Even though he knew she loved him, sometimes he felt like it was all too good to be true. Someone as beautiful and talented as Sarah could fall in love with a guy that worked at the Buy More. If he dwelled on it, he didn't like the conclusions he always reached. But then he would look into her loving eyes and all his worries would melt away.

Chuck finally went to sleep too but not before thinking about how perfect Sarah's form was as he felt her ribcage and stomach with his hand and forearm. He would do everything in his power to make her happy. His last thought before slumber was that he had to work extra hard to make sure she knew how much he loved her.

They both woke up around seven that next morning. Chuck had to be at work before Sarah so he got his shower first. They had worked out their morning routines pretty effortlessly. By now, Chuck had come to expect to have some kind of breakfast waiting on him when he got out of the shower and got dressed. On the days when Sarah had to work before him they reversed roles.

"Oh, French toast. I didn't know you knew how to make French toast?" Chuck said.

"I didn't…Ellie taught me. I wanted to surprise you."

Sarah was rewarded by Chuck's largest smile. She knew that doing these little things that told Chuck how much she loved him meant the world to him. She knew that and that's why she did it.

"Have I told you today how much I love you?" he said.

"Hmm, let's see. Yes, if I remember correctly you said it more than once."

"I don't mean that. I mean really told you I love you.

Sarah looked at Chuck and seemed to melt before him. You tell me everyday. In the million little things you do. I know that I'm the most loved woman in the world."

Chuck's eyes misted over and his look turned serious. "Indeed you are Mrs. Bartowski. Indeed you are."

Thirty minutes later Sarah met Chuck at the front door to say goodbye for the morning. They had plans to meet for lunch.

She smiled into his eyes and kissed him briefly on the lips. "See you later, honey."

"You bet you will," he said and closed the door.

Sarah's expression darkened the second the door closed and she turned to go into the bathroom they shared. She stood in front of the mirror looking at her reflection trying to recognize the person she saw there. She then went to stand over the commode.

Had Chuck forgot his keys and walked back into the house at that moment he would have heard the sound of his wife dry retching in the bathroom.


	2. Spies will be Spies

A/N: OK, first thing is I know some of you will not like this story because it is not a happy story. But I think it will be a good story and one that for most of you, you will be glad you read. At least that is my hope. My intent is to write shorter chapters but update every day or every other day at the latest. I would appreciate knowing if that schedule is preferred or if you prefer a longer chapter but less frequent. Let me know and I will change if there is consensus.

Catch Her If You Can

Spies Will Be Spies

"I've got to hand it to you Walker, you're handling this marriage a lot better than I thought you would," Casey said with a smirk. He had just switched off the monitor after they had reported in to their superiors.

"What's that supposed mean?" Sarah said irritably.

"I mean if I didn't know any better I would think you're head over heals in love with Bartowski."

Sarah Walker looked at her partner coldly. "Shutup Casey. I fucking hate this assignment. Chuck is a great guy and he deserves a lot better than us…than me." She looked at her hands and Casey saw that she was struggling with her assignment.

"Look, you're doing your job…you're following orders. That's what the job is all about."

"Yeah, well this job sucks. It makes me sick to my stomach." She looked at her partner to gage his mood. "I'm serious. I want to throw up sometimes when he leaves the apartment," she said nervous about talking honestly about how distasteful she found her current assignment. "I've never felt as though I was betraying a mark before."

"Walker, you knew what you were in for on this. Why did you agree to marry him? You were given the choice of moving on. Everyone knew you and Chuck had some kind of thing."

"I couldn't let someone else walk in and really play Chuck. I just couldn't bare the thought of him growing to hate someone who didn't care even a little bit about what he thought."

"Jesus, Walker. You know how screwed up that is?"

"Screwed up…screwed up," she said again louder as she squared her body towards her partner. "You're telling me I'm screwed up. Let's see. I've tricked Chuck into believing I'm in love with him. Why did I do that? So I can be closer to him and keep a tighter reign on his unpredictable nature. Let's see…you're telling me I'm screwed up because I feel bad about how we are treating Chuck. Someone who never asked to be apart of this world we signed up for. Is that what you're telling me?"

"Yeah…that about covers it."

"And what about you, John? Last week when you came over to watch the football game with him. Were you faking having a good time?"

"No, I enjoy watching those games."

"Even with someone you know you're going to have to kill one day?" Sarah's eyes were dark, angry spheres of raw emotion. Her fists were clenched and if John Casey chose to end their partnership right now, she was prepared to join in.

Casey's expression grew dark as well as he heightened the intensity of his focus on the blonde agent. Casey knew not to underestimate Sarah Walker in a fight. If they were going to throw down, he would end it as quickly as possible with no mercy. He regarded her without breathing, his body coiled to unfurl if she chose to attack.

"What are you getting at, Walker?" His voice was low and dangerous.

Sarah knew as well that this could easily escalate into something she hadn't really intended but she was ready as well. Finally, she took a deep breath. "Don't play me for a fool Casey. I know as well as you do that Chuck is living on borrowed time." She looked away from him trusting that the emotion of the situation had ramped down to a point were she could relax a little.

"Bunker my ass. The only bunker Chuck will ever see is a six foot under bunker." She turned back to face Casey, she wanted to look him in the eye when she said her next statement. "As soon as the beta is debugged, Chuck will become a liability." She looked at the NSA agent coldly. "We both know what happens to liabilities in this business."

Sarah turned her back to Casey showing him that she trusted him and at the same time seemed to be in deep thought. "I'll tell you one thing for sure, John…I'm not falling in love with a liability."

Casey laughed derisively. "Who are you trying to convince? Me…or yourself?"

Sarah took a step closer then stopped and stared intently at her partner. "Look, all I'm saying is when you get the call…give me five hours notice. I don't want to be anywhere near LA when you do it."

"We'll see. I'm not making any promises."

The blonde agent closed the distance on Casey and grabbed the bigger man's arm roughly digging her fingernails into his skin. "Look, I've been sleeping with him for two months. He's not like any other mark that I would just as soon shoot in the head as look at. You know I've liked Chuck for a long time. And…I've been sleeping with him. You get it. You understand what I'm saying?"

Sarah saw Casey's expression soften and then she said "One more thing, make it painless when you do it…OK?"

Casey jerked his arm from her grasp. "I can't guarantee five hours but I'll give you enough time to get out of town." Casey turned his back to her but quickly turned around causing Walker to jump.

"I'll make one promise to you though," Casey said and waited for Sarah to respond.

"What's that?"

"He won't even know when he died."

They locked eyes. Sarah's eyes misted over and then she turned to leave. As she opened the door she said, "I can't wait until this fucking assignment is over." She slammed the door as she left.

Sarah got into her Porsche and drove. She had no idea where she was driving to but she knew the kind of area she was looking for. After driving for an hour, she finally pulled into an empty parking lot, turned off the car and waited. She saw three large men milling around about half a block from her. She knew the kind of release she needed. These three would do quite nicely.

She got out of the car briefly pretending to inspect a tire just so the men could see her. She then got back into the car and waited. She held a knife in each hand and in the back of her mind she felt a little sorry for these brutes because she knew she was not giving them any chance to survive. _It's not like their innocents she thought_.

Just as the men were twenty yards away from her, someone down the road yelled at them. The men stopped and then looked at Sarah for a moment and reluctantly turned and walked away from her.

Sarah watched the men walk away. She let out a slow breath to ease her adrenalin level. She looked at her watch and sighed. Starting her car, she drove back to the apartment that she shared with a man she knew would soon be dead. She found it harder and harder to keep up the pretense.

She pulled into the parking spot reserved for her car and walked into the apartment and was immediately greeted by her husband. She smiled hugely and kissed him hungrily.

"Hi sweetie, how was your day at the Buy More?"

A/N: It's gonna get worse before it gets better.


	3. Spy Love Is Not Real Love

A/N: If you can stand this chapter, the worst is over.

Spies Need Love Too

Sarah hesitated before knocking on the hotel door. When the door swung open she swallowed visibly and then said, "What do you want, Bryce?" She glanced at her watch. "I don't have much time. Chuck is expecting me soon."

Bryce grabbed her hand and pulled her into the room. He grabbed her waist and pulled her close, kissing her hungrily. After a momentary protest, she responded in kind. Four hands roamed over two bodies when suddenly Sarah's body stiffened and she pushed away from him.

Bryce's brow dropped. "What's wrong with you?" Oh, I see, Chuck's supplying all of your needs now?" he said bitterly.

Sarah met his eyes evenly. "I haven't had my needs met since Chuck and I got married."

"So Chuck's as inadequate in bed as he is in everything else huh?" Bryce smiled at her; happy that Chuck was not pleasing her in an area that Bryce had always excelled in.

"The problems not Chuck. He's fantastic. The problem is me…guilt and sex does not mix." She turned her back to him.

"Guilt? So Goody Two Shoes has finally chipped away at the stone cold heart of Sarah Walker." Bryce said it as an accusation.

She turned on him. "What's wrong with you Bryce? You use to care about Chuck."

"Yeah, that's before he started sleeping with my girl."

"Come on…you don't care who I sleep with. You never have as long as we've known each other. What's really going on?"

"I'll tell you what's going on. You've slept with more marks than I can count but this is the first time you've avoided me. I can't help but think it has something to do with golden boy."

"This assignment takes a lot of time. Being Mrs. Chuck Bartowski is not something I can just stop anytime you feel the need. I can't afford to screw this up."

"Come on Sarah. You're here now. Stay for thirty minutes." He grabbed her hand again and pulled her towards the bed.

She looked longingly at it, obviously fighting between her physical desires and her sense of duty. But she hesitates too long.

Bryce reached up and started unbuttoning her blouse.

The blonde spy closed her eyes and shivered slightly as she tilted her back enjoying the release of every button.

Bryce continued to undress her as he slowly caressed her stomach with the back of his fingers.

"You better come through for me today," she said the warning evident in her voice. "Because if you don't…you'll never have another chance."

Bryce smiled wickedly as he pulled her down into the bed. "When have I ever let you down?"

She would have answered but her lips were otherwise engaged.

X-X

"Hey you're late…everything OK?" Chuck said as Sarah walked into the room.

She walked over to him and kissed him on the lips. "Yeah, it's just the traffic was murder today."

"You look like you've been put through the wringer. Your clothes are wrinkled, your hair is a mess and did you just brush your teeth?"

The blonde spy, although completely taken off guard by her mistake never let on. She smoothly continued as though nothing was wrong. "I drove with the windows down. And I just had a stick of gum. I take it you approve?" She went into the bathroom. "I need to take a shower, I'm pretty grimy," she said realizing she needed to make sure she left no other evidence of her deceit and get caught in the lie. She couldn't afford that.

"OK…hey I was thinking that we should go out to eat tonight. What do you say?"

"What's that?" Sarah said opening the door to the bathroom to hear him better.

"I said I wanted to take my best girl out to dinner tonight."

"Chuck, do you mind if we eat in? I don't feel like going out tonight."

"Anything you want, anytime, anywhere, anyhow. Sarah there's nothing I wouldn't do for you," Chuck said. He heard the water from the shower before he had stopped speaking and wasn't sure if she heard him or not but he noticed a strange noise in the bathroom when he had stopped speaking. It sounded as though it was Sarah. He got up to investigate. Opening the door to the bathroom he peered in to see his wife in the shower. He could not make out her features or expression through the bathroom glass of the shower door.

"Hey, is everything OK in here?"

"What?" she said.

"I just thought I heard a funny noise like you cried out or you were crying or something. I couldn't tell really."

"You must have been hearing things sweetie. I'll be out in a minute."

"OK, I'll start on supper if you know what you want?"

"You decide, I'm not very hungry so something light."

X-X

Sarah and Chuck lay in bed watching the ceiling as they talk. For the first time in their marriage they did not make love before going to sleep. Sarah just couldn't handle it emotionally. She had been mentally torturing herself for sleeping with Bryce. Even though she didn't think of herself as Chuck's wife, she still felt as though she had betrayed him. As usual, Chuck was more concerned with her feelings and agreed without hesitation causing her to feel more like the betrayer than what she already had. To her own horror she found herself thinking that she would be glad when Casey finally got the order so she could move on to the next assignment. She then felt worse for the thought.

"Sarah, I've been thinking that I need to go back to school. We need to think about the future. By taking night classes, I can get my degree in less than two years. I know it will be a strain financially for the short term but long term it's the best thing to do. What do you think?"

She wanted to tell him to forget about the long term. Live for today because you are not going to have tomorrow. She wanted to say pack your bags and run. At least you have a chance to grow old that way, even if the chance is infinitely small. By staying here you have no chance of that. But she knew she could say nothing. One word from her to alert Chuck of what's to come would get her a bullet in the head as well and probably from Casey too.

"Go for it honey. We'll pull in the budget and make ends meet. If you took two classes a week maybe you could finish in a year?"

Chuck smiled at her. "You are the best…and I love you with all my heart."

"I love you too. I want you to be happy and if going back to school will make you happy then I'm behind you one hundred percent."

Chuck smiled and leaned over her to turn off the light. Before lying back down he bent down and kissed her in the dark. To his surprise, she grabbed him and pulled him into the kiss almost savagely. It was like nothing Sarah had ever done before. But as always Chuck responded to her and they made love in a very aggressive way. Although it was physically enjoyable there were aspects to it that were emotionally disquieting to him. It seemed to him as though the underlying emotion to what they had just done was not love. He didn't know what it was but he could not shake the feeling. He knew that it was different for Sarah too. She had always enjoyed their lovemaking in the past but this time it was more than apparent that she was satisfied. The way she called his name at the end was breathtaking to him but tinged with concern. It just wasn't like the Sarah he knew.

Chuck went to sleep that night troubled. For the first time since early on in his relationship with her, he wondered how well he really knew her.

Sarah fell asleep quickly, unaware of the emotional turmoil that their lovemaking had stirred in her husband. To her, she had somehow made amends by being able to climax with Chuck. It made her feel as though what they shared was a little more real. It allowed her to forget about her afternoon with Bryce. For now, until the end of the assignment she was determined to keep her head in the game.


	4. With Friends like you

With Friends Like You Who Needs Enemies

"What brings you to LA Carina?" Sarah said smiling at her friend. They sat at a little coffee shop that Chuck had taken Sarah too when they first started seeing each other.

"Actually, I'm on my way to Minneapolis but I thought I would stop by and see my best friend."

"That's sweet, I'm so glad you did. How is everything going with you?"

"Well not bad. I'm actually in between men at the moment. You know how that always makes me cranky?"

Sarah laughed. "I thought you got cranky when you were with the same guy for too long?"

"Yeah, that'll do it too."

The two beautiful spies laughed at their joke. They both were happy to just let their guards down if only for a moment.

"Why are you going to Minneapolis?"

"Business…I can't say any more than that."

Sarah shook her head as though she understood completely.

"Doubt if you're interested but Bryce was in town last week. He's probably still here. He normally stays for a couple of weeks when he's here," Sarah said.

"I guess you're taken this marriage thing pretty serious. Letting me have a go at Bryce."

"Bryce and I have been over for a long time. I know he always had a thing for you."

"Yeah, he has a thing for long legs doesn't he?" Carina said.

"Long legs, short legs, big tits, little tits…Bryce has never met a woman that wasn't his type."

"He doesn't sound that enticing does he?"

"Carina, you know as well as I do that what Bryce thinks isn't what makes him enticing," Sarah said laughing.

Carina laughed too but then got serious. "You know, I may take you up on that if you're serious?"

"Give him a call. I'm sure he won't mind."

"I think I will but I've got to ask you about this marriage of yours…is it real? Have you legitimately married an analyst?"

"I can't really talk about it Carina. But the marriage is legal."

"I didn't ask if it was legal I asked if it is real. So let me ask you this…when was the last time you spent any sack time with Bryce?"

"I'm not going there."

"You have haven't you? What's the problem with Chuck? He not able to get the job done?

"Chuck is just fine."

"Then why are you spending time with Bryce?"

"I didn't say I was."

"You didn't have too. It's as obvious as those C cups you're sporting."

"Enough Carina."

"No, let me ask you one more question? Are you in love with him?"

"Bryce?"

"No, Chuck. Are you in love with him?"

Sarah stared at Carina for a moment. "Honestly Carina, I don't know if I even know what love is. Do you?"

"This isn't about me. I'm not the one married to an analyst. So I ask you again. Are you in love with him?"

"Chuck and I have a connection that I have never had before. Not even with Bryce."

"Sarah…are you in love with him?"

"Goddamnit Carina. I don't know. I don't even know what love is or how it feels. Do you?"

"I don't know what love is but you know what they say in this business…love costs ten bucks. True love costs twenty."

"Real classy Carina."

"Don't give me classy Sarah. You and I wouldn't know real class if it were sucking on our toes We are charlatans. We might be able to look the part but deep down we both know we're imposters."

"Carina, just drop the love questions would you? I'm still working out a lot of things when it comes to Chuck."

"Aren't you a couple of months late for that?"

"Carina, I'm warning you, cut the crap. I've had all I'm gonna take from you."

The two spies looked at each other appraisingly. The aggression is always just under the surface with these two.

"Why won't you tell me if you love the guy or not?"

"Because I don't know!" Sarah yelled at the top of her lungs. How many times do I have to say it? She stood as she did so staring down at the redhead with fist clenched. She looked around and began to calm herself. She sat down and smoothed her clothing. "If you must know, I don't know if I love him. I don't know what love is. I don't know what it feels like. I don't know how it is supposed to make me feel. And, I don't know if love is even relevant for people like us." She looked at her friend. "Are you happy now? I don't know," she said emphasizing each word.

"So with all this ambivalence about love, how is Chuck doing?" Sarah caught on to Carina's ploy. She was trying to continue the line of questions only using Chuck as the subject.

"Carina, I'm done talking about Chuck and myself. Is there anything else you want to talk about because if not…I'm leaving?"

"Well, how about Casey. What's he up to?"

"Why, are you thinking about spending the night with him too?"

"It depends."

"On what?"

"On whether Bryce is still in town," she said laughing. That lightened the mood some.

"Can I ask you a question Carina?"

"Shoot."

"How long have you been at this? I mean in the spy game. How long?"

"About two years longer than you. Ten years next month."

"You ever think about getting out?"

"Sure, when someone finally puts a bullet in my head."

"No, I'm serious. Have you ever thought of doing something else? You know leave the DEA?"

"What else would I do? Who else is going to pay me for having sex with big bad studs and then shoot them when I'm done? It's the best job in the world. So, what brings about this question? Does Chuck have you thinking about quitting?"

"No, well maybe indirectly. I don't know. I've just been thinking about what I believe in recently. Chuck's been responsible for that."

"So you're thinking about growing old with this guy?"

Sarah looked at Carina with sad eyes. "If you only knew how ridicules that question is. Besides in our line of work we both know the chances of living to retirement. No, I can pretty much assure you that Chuck and I will never see retirement together."

"So why are you interested in retirement?" Carina said.

"I just don't know if what I'm doing is really for the greater good or is our government just like all the others."

"You don't know do you?"

"Know what?"

"Look, I hate to bust your bubble but in the eight years that you've been doing this work, how many times have you had to do something you didn't feel right about?"

Sarah hesitated not comfortable with the question.

"I'll tell you it has been more than you can remember. Do you think that your government, if it were better than other governments would make you do things you know are wrong?"

Sarah looked puzzled at the questions. "What are you saying?"

"I'm saying that you do what your told. You don't ask questions and stop thinking about right and wrong. That will distract you and distraction is what will get you killed."

"What if you're asked to do something you know is wrong and you just can't do it?"

"Then you're screwed."

"What does that mean?"

"It means you better have made a plan to run. You better have money already set aside that you can access and you stay under the grid. If you're lucky you live. Chances are still against you living a year. We're very good at finding people."

Carina studied Sarah carefully. "You're not going rogue are you?"

"Don't be ridiculous. I've had an issue that I've thought about. It's just got me thinking. I can guarantee you that the last thing I will ever do is go rogue. I owe the CIA and I know it."

"That's a relief…you had me worried there."

Sarah looked at her watch. "I've got to go I need to pick up some groceries. I promised Chuck I would make dinner for him tonight."

Carina's smile grew from ear to ear. "He's got you making dinner for him?"

"It's not like that. We take turns. He makes dinner for me as well."

"Are there going to be little Bartowski's running around from this union?"

"You know better than that. I wouldn't bring a child into this world for love nor money. Who in their right mind would think this world is safe enough for children."

"It's done every day by the thousands. Happy Mr. and Mrs. Smith's bringing babies home from the hospital. Mothers nursing the babies and fathers going off to work to provide for them."

Sarah rolled her eyes. "Please, are you trying to make me sick. Carina, we both know that world they're living in is a facade."

"I'm just saying that if Mr. and Mrs. Smith grow old and raise their children never knowing how the world really is…and they've been happy. What's so bad about it?"

"You sound like you're trying to talk me into running."

Carina laughed. "Please, I'd probably be the one they send to kill you. Do me a favor and never even think about going off the grid."

Sarah laughed as well. "If there's one thing I can promise you it's that going off the grid is the last thing on my mind. I just can't wait for the next assignment."

Sarah got up to leave, hugging Carina before she left.

Carina watched her walk away. Her mind clearly working through everything she had just learned. Finally, she pulled her phone out of her purse and dialed a number.

"Hello Bryce, this is Carina. I'm in LA and hoped that you were too. Really? Great. Give me a couple of hours and I will see you there."

Carina gave Sarah one last look and then decided not to put a tail on her. Even though it would be a huge feather in her hat to catch a rogue spy just as she was leaving, deep down she knew that Sarah was addicted to the CIA and not even Chuck who had an unusual connection to her would ever change that.

She walked to her car smiling in anticipation of the night spent with Bryce. She loved taking what Sarah had.


	5. A Spies Heart Touched

**A/N: Probably will be Thursday before the next post. Things will heat up quickly after this chapter.**

A Spies Heart Touched

Sarah walked into the apartment to find Chuck relaxing on the couch. "Hey what's up?" she said as she went over to him to give him a kiss.

"Just looking at this magazine."

Sarah sat down beside him and watched him while he continued to read.

After watching him ignore her while intently reading some article she became curious as to what held his attention so raptly. "What are you reading?"

He looked up as though he had forgotten she was in the room. "Oh, it's just this article in National Geographic on Scottish Sheep farms in the Northwest Archipelago."

"Excuse me?"

"Scotland."

"I know where it is…I just can't believe you're so interested in it," she said smiling.

"Well sometimes I think it's interesting to think about living in a totally different way. Don't you?"

Sarah laughed in a scoffing manner. "Ah…no. I'm quite happy with running water."

"They have running water. But you might have to look pretty hard to find internet access."

"And you're interested in living there?"

"I didn't say I wanted to live there necessarily but I find it interesting to think about."

"If you say so," Sarah said getting off the couch. "Hey whose turn is it to cook?"

"I made pizza last night," Chuck said smiling.

"Not fair. You pulled that out of a box."

"So, you can do the same thing."

"You want pizza again?"

"No, I mean you can make something from the box too."

"What do you suggest?"

"Oh, I don't care I ate before coming home from work." Chuck tried to keep from smiling but couldn't.

Sarah joined in smiling as well and then threw her dishtowel at him.

"OK, I guess I'm on my own tonight. Speaking of work how was yours today?"

"It was OK."

"You didn't convince me."

"Sarah it's just that I see some of these guys that were born with silver spoons in their mouths and it just gets to me."

"What are you talking about?"

"You know how Ellie and I grew up? We had it tough. We've worked for everything we have. Granted she has a lot more than me but the point is we had it hard."

Chuck had his back to Sarah and didn't see the sudden change in her mood. "Hey how about a little sympathy here," he said still not aware of the sudden chill in the air.

When she didn't answer he turned around to look at her. "Hey are you OK?" he said.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I've just never heard you whine like that before."

Chuck stood up and faced her with his brow drawn down and his arms straight at his sides. "Whine? Are you kidding me?"

Sarah continued to stare at him silently. She sat her phone on the cabinet with more force than necessary and joined Chuck.

"Take a seat," she said and waited for Chuck to comply. After he sat and watched her expectantly, she began. "Have I ever told you about my favorite Christmas ever?"

Chuck said nothing realizing it was a rhetorical question since she had told him nothing of her childhood.

"I was probably nine or ten, I don't remember. But I wanted this baby that I'd seen and I was relentless with mom. We didn't have much money mostly because my father always drank more than his share of the family income. But mom went to work sewing for people in the apartment building and after two months, she had the necessary thirty dollars to buy the doll."

"What was the name of the doll?" Chuck asked.

Sarah looked a little embarrassed but answered him anyway. "It was called a Sing-a-baby. Anyway, for reasons that I will never know, mom gave my father the thirty bucks to walk the four blocks to the Toys Are Us store on Christmas Eve to pick up my gift. Like I said I was around nine years old and by then I had known for a long time that there was no Santa. It's hard to maintain a lot of innocence when your father is an alcoholic. Anyway, I never got my Sing-a-baby. You know why?"

Chuck shook his head in rapt attention.

"The Toys Are Us was four blocks away but the bar was only two blocks away. My loving father drank thirty dollars worth of Early Times and spent the next three days asleep in an alley."

"Sarah, I thought you said this was your favorite Christmas?"

"I did. You know why?"

Again, Chuck just shook his head.

Because it was the only Christmas I can remember whenmy father didn't beat the shit out of mom for no reason at all."

Chuck stood and started towards his wife. "Sarah, I'm so-"

"Don't you dare waste your pity on me," she said with ice in her voice.

Chuck saw the fire that had blazed within her eyes. "It's not pity," he said as he ignored her posture. "But I would be an animal if I didn't hurt for you. Don't ask me not to care," he said as he wrapped her in his arms.

She stood stiffly for a moment but then slowly he felt her grab on to him. She clung to him tightly. She didn't cry but he knew she took comfort in his arms.

Chuck led her back to the couch where they both sat down. "Sarah, if you don't mind me asking…how did you get out of there?"

She met his eyes evenly so to tell him she was not embarrassed by what she had to say. "By the time I turned fifteen, I had learned that that my body could get me what I wanted as long as I was willing to go down that path. Around the same time, a dojo started up in my neighborhood and although I didn't have the money for lessons, Master White let me work there to pay off what I owed. I was told I was a natural. By the time I was eighteen, I had a black belt. Around that time I came home one day to find my father wailing on my mom.

Sarah stopped for a second as though she were remembering it in her mind. She looked back at Chuck. "I just lost it. I put him in the hospital which landed me in jail.

"When I got out, they kicked me out of the house. That's when I met the CIA. They saved my life. I owe everything to them."

"Sarah, I would say you've paid them back by now."

She looked at him and smiled. "You couldn't understand."

"Try me."

She shook her head. "Not tonight. Look, I'm going to skip supper and go to bed. If you don't mind I would like a little space for a while. It's always upsetting to think about when I was a kid."

"Sure," Chuck said to her back. He began to realize just how little he really knew Sarah Walker. He thought he knew her but was beginning to see that she was far more complex than he first realized. He thought she was just a modern woman when she insisted on keeping her own name. Now he wondered if there was more to it than that.

By the time she closed the door to their room, he had an idea. He got his laptop and began to surf the web.

X-X

**Four days later**:

The moment Sarah came through the door, Chuck was ready for her. "Hey, I bought you a present," he said.

Sarah walked in slowly. She looked at the rectangular shaped, holiday wrapped box. It stood about eighteen inches tall.

"Is this a Christmas present?" she asked looking at the wrapping.

"Well it was going to be but I just couldn't wait until then to give it to you," he said.

Chuck realized by now that it was these unexpected displays of love that affected Sarah the most. He was even aware on some near unconscious level that that was when he got a glimpse at the real Sarah Walker…with her guard down. He lived for that.

She came in and sat down on the floor in front of him and took the package. She smiled at him as she began to tear away the wrapping.

It filled Chuck's heart with love when he saw the pure joy on her face. When she pulled the wrapping off of the top third of the box she stopped dead and stared at the object she held in her hands.

Chuck had never seen the expression she now wore. He almost began to talk to her on three separate occasions as he waited on her to respond. He noticed her first response after a while. Her eyes began to mist up. And then suddenly the floodgates opened as tears began to stream down her cheeks. She then looked at Chuck without smiling. She tore away the rest of the wrapping with a mask for a face. She held it up to get a good look at the 1992 Sing-a-Baby.

She stood. "What are you trying to do to me?"

"What?" Chuck asked.

"Why would you do this?" she said in a far away voice.

"Isn't it obvious? I love you."

Sarah stood silently regarding her gift. Chuck began to grow uncomfortable by the silence. Just when he was going to ask her if she was OK, she looked at him.

"What is love, Chuck? You say you love me. What does that mean? Do you even know?"

Chuck's brow wrinkled. He understood instantly that he was talking with someone he didn't know. Someone he had never seen before and it disturbed him.

"Love means that I care more for your happiness than I do for my own," he said.

Sarah thought about what he said as though it was the first time she had ever heard those words. She put them in a context she understood.

"Are you saying that you would take a bullet for me?" There was awe and wonder in her voice.

Chuck answered without hesitation. "Yes, I would gladly give up my life if it meant saving yours. I thought you knew that?"

Sarah continued to look at the present she held in her hand as Chuck spoke. When he stopped she began.

"I need time to think. I'm going to take a drive. Don't wait up for me."

"Sarah, where are you going?"

She ignored him. I may not even be back tonight. Don't worry about me, I'll be alright," she said as she left closing the door. The door reopened and she came back in and sat the toy down on the table. She didn't look at Chuck or speak to him. In an instant, she was gone.

A few seconds later the door opened one more time. Sarah came back in and looked him in the eyes. "Chuck, I know you're confused. I am too. I need to figure some things out. Hopefully, if things go the way I'd like, I will be able to tell you what I come up with. If I don't I guess it wont' matter in the long run." She walked out of the apartment without further words.

It was four days before Chuck heard from Sarah. He was panicked by the second day. He wanted to go to the police but Casey told him that Sarah had sent him a text saying she was OK and would be back soon.

When she returned, she refused to say anything more about the incident. Chuck was frustrated but gave her her space.

Sarah had tried with all her might to mover herself to a place where she could sacrifice herself for Chuck's sake because she knew that is what she would be doing if she tried to stop Casey from completing his orders.

She wanted to be his protector but when she thought about going up against the CIA alone, her knees grew weak. Sadly, she understood that she did not love Chuck like she needed to because she could not take a bullet for him. It made her sad but resolute. She was tired of fighting this fight. She secretly longed for the mission to end. She began to hope that Casey would notify her soon. She knew by the schedule of the Beta work that she would be hearing from him any day now.

Chuck saw the sadness on her face when she returned but he decided to wait. He thought the one thing that he and Sarah had was time. He would wait for her. He knew one thing. Even if he didn't know her as well as he had once thought, he could always count on her.


	6. Formal Notice

A/N: Sorry if I threw anyone off schedule. It's the next chapter that will take a while to flesh out.

OK, this chapter is violent. So be prepared. Hope you like it.

Formal Notice

**Monday 6:47 PM**

Sarah sat on the couch with Chuck. The tension was so thick between them it ran down the walls and the air was heavy with silence. Chuck had pressed Sarah to tell him why she had to leave and why she stayed away for so long without at least talking to him. He was hurt that she chose to contact Casey instead of him.

When she would not talk about it he got mad.

Then she got mad.

And then the phone rang.

"Hey Casey, what's up?"

"Is he there with you?"

"Yes."

"OK, you have more than five hours. When does he get off work?"

"Chuck, you get off work at five tomorrow don't you?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Casey's trying to set up a meeting. He'll let you know if he does. He's off at five John."

"Here's your notice Walker. It's been good working with you. See you around."

"Goodbye John."

When she cut the phone connection she thought she'd feel relief but instead she felt the ice cold grip of terror on her heart as she looked at Chuck. She found herself in total and complete panic. Even though she had been expecting this call, now that it had happened, she couldn't believe that the CIA would order the hit on Chuck.

_My Chuck, she thought_. And as she gave birth to that thought something just click in her mind. Even though she was scared to death at going against the CIA she found herself smiling. She smiled because she knew that Chuck was hers. That she was going to save him from Casey's bullet. And that meant only one thing. She was willing to take a bullet for Chuck. And that meant she loved him.

She wanted to go over to him. She wanted to kiss him like she had in the past. But only this time she would completely give herself to him. She would mean it with all her heart. But she knew that now was not the time for that.

Now was the time for planning. If she was going to take Chuck of the grid she better have a plan in place or she wouldn't make it to Vegas. She knew that in order to properly plan she needed no distractions. And Chuck was a major distraction.

She got up without saying a word. She was afraid to even meet his eyes. She didn't think she could stay the course if she met his gaze. She went silently to their bedroom. As she closed the door she glanced back at him. "I need to be alone for a while," she said closing the door.

"After the door closed, Chuck looked up. "What's new," he said and went back to reading his magazine.

**Tuesday 4:45 PM**

Sarah had been in position for an hour now. She couldn't afford to take any chances and get there too late. She kept her mind silent as she was trained to do and in fact she had done many times.

**Tuesday 4:53 PM**

Casey pulled into the Buy More parking lot. Only Sarah knew who was behind the wheel of the stolen car. He was dressed as a gang banger.

She wasted no time. She knew since last night that she could not afford to let Casey live. He knew her too well. With Casey leading the search for her and Chuck, she estimated that their chance of survival was reduced by thirty points. He knew her too well.

She took aim placing the crosshairs right on Casey's ear. She didn't hesitate and pulled the trigger twice.

"Goodbye John, you were a good partner," she said as she put the rifle up. She got into her car and drove to Casey.

She opened the door to his car and with her silencer equipped pistol ready. She checked John Casey's status. Satisfied, she moved his body over to the passenger side. She drove the car to the back of the parking lot. Getting out she threw a blanket over Casey's body and locked the door. Looking around for any observers and finding none, she shot out the street light.

Sarah jogged back to her car, actually it wasn't her car. Earlier in the morning she drove her Porsche to LAX long term parking, leaving her car, she stole a Honda. With a little luck, the owner of the Honda wouldn't be back until Friday. She knew if she could keep Chuck alive until Friday she had a chance.

**Tuesday 5:04 PM **

Chuck walked out of the Buy More without noticing Sarah in the white Honda.

"Chuck," she called out.

He looked at her puzzled but ran to the passenger side of the car and got in. "Where's the Porsche?" he asked.

"Listen to me carefully. We're going to Ellie's. I stopped by the hospital this morning and she's expecting us."

"OK, why?" He couldn't hide his perplexity.

For the first time since he got into the car, Sarah looked at him. She smiled nervously. For the first time since she had known him she was just Sarah Walker the woman. No longer the spy. She felt exposed…vulnerable. She swept these thoughts from her mind.

"We're going to say goodbye."

"What?" he said now more puzzled than before.

She glanced at him again. "We have to leave…we're gong to say goodbye to Ellie."

"Sarah, you're not making any sense."

"The CIA just put out a kill order on you. The beta intersect is fully functional and you are now considered a liability."

Chuck did not need to ask any more questions. He knew what was going on if not just how serious his predicament was.

**Tuesday 5:15 PM**

It took only ten minutes to get to Ellie's apartment. It took only thirty seconds for Ellie's tears to fall. Sarah did most of the talking. Chuck was still in shock himself. Ellie took the news pretty well under the circumstances alternating between disbelief and complete amazement.

Sarah told the complete story of Chuck but gave Ellie very little opportunity for questions. Before leaving she gave Ellie a key. A key that contained code words they could use to communicate. They agreed to meet on the NBC forum for the show Heroes in two weeks. By using the codes they would be able to get basic information passed between them relatively safe.

Sarah looked at her watch. "We have to go." Her voice left no room for argument. She let the siblings hug for a while before tugging on Chuck's arm. "We have to go Chuck. We have a schedule to keep."

**Tuesday 5:45 PM **

Sarah stopped in front of a hotel that Chuck had never been to before. Although she had said it to him many times in the past, this time was different. It was her voice and the expression on her face that left no doubt how serious she was when she told him to stay in the car.

Chuck sat quietly as he watched Sarah go inside.

Sarah didn't bother to go to the front desk. She knew just where she was going. She had been here recently. She didn't feel bad about it necessarily, but she wasn't proud of it either. She looked at her watch and knocked on the door.

Bryce opened the door wearing only a wicked smile. He was expecting her.

Sarah didn't give him time to utter a sound as she raised her pistol and fired two shots into his chest. He fell straight back. She looked down both ways of the hotel aisle and then stepped inside. She put one more bullet into his head and then stepped closer to look at the man she had just recently made love with. "Goodbye Bryce…we did have some good times. As good as I was able"

She put her gun in her purse and then put the Do Not Disturb sign on the front door.

After making sure the door was locked, she pulled out her phone and dialed a familiar number.

"Hi Carina," she said happily. "Hey, where are you? Still? Oh, nothing. I was hoping that you might be back in LA. You know…to see Bryce. How is he? Oh, I think he's just dying to see you," Sarah said. "When are you coming back? Oh well, maybe we'll talk the next time you're in town." She looked at her watch. "Carina, I gotta go but I'll talk with you later. You too." Sarah hung up her phone. "Damn it," she said thinking it was too good to be true thinking that Carina would be in town too. She knew that Carina would now most likely be in charge of the manhunt.

She left the hotel and got into the car smiling at Chuck as she climbed in. "Time to get out of LA," she said.

**Wednesday 12:47 AM**

"Chuck, let's find a place to get a couple hours sleep." She saw that Chuck was getting sleepy. He had taken over the driving duties three hours ago. Sarah pretended to sleep because she didn't want to have the conversation she knew was coming, in the car…tonight.

Chuck and Sarah walked in the Comfort Inn Suites in Flagstaff, Arizona. Room 217 had a built in hot tube, a king sized bed, three chairs, three lamps, one TV and one Gideon's bible…and two complete strangers. Oh, Sarah knew Chuck pretty well but Chuck had begun to realize that he had no idea who his wife was. He knew just about as much as she did, now that she was no longer a CIA agent.

Sarah collapsed on the bed joining her husband. They had lain like that for a couple of minutes, only the sound of their breathing breaking the silence.

Sarah looked at the ceiling as she thought about the events that led her to this point. She had been so proud to be a CIA agent. It was who she was.

No more.

She rolled onto her side away from Chuck. She smiled when she felt his arm drape across her. She stared at his wedding ring as she rubbed it with her thumb.

"Sarah," he said softly.

"Yes."

"I can't stand the thought of you as a kid growing up in that environment."

She turned over onto her back so she could see his face. "We are running for our lives…from the most powerful, most sophisticated intelligence community the world has ever known and you're dwelling on my crappy childhood?"

"I just can't stand the fact that you grew up so unhappy."

She scooted over a little more to face him. "You know what the worst part was? When I came home from jail and my father and I got into another huge argument and he threw me out of our house…mom sided with him. Someone who beat her almost every day of her life, and all I wanted to do was take care of her. To this day I don't understand why she chose him over me. I guess in a huge way that has shaped who I am." She looked at Chuck. "Enough of that. Their both long gone now."

"Sarah, I got to ask you about the hotel. Why did we go there?" Chuck knew in his spirit that he would not like the answer.

Her smile faltered just a little. "I promise to tell you everything. I know you won't want to hear everything but I will tell you the truth. But not tonight. Tomorrow, OK?"

Chuck stared into her eyes trying to figure out the mystery that was Sarah Walker. He finally shook his head. Within minutes, they were both asleep. They slept soundly unaware of the massive wheels of the CIA turning to tighten the noose around them. The area of concern was slowing getting smaller with every hour that passed.

Sarah Walker was right. They would need to get lucky if they were going to live.


	7. Born to Run

A/N: This is a little different. Let me know what you think. Good or bad.

Born to Run

"Come on people, stay alert. I want that escape vehicle," Carina spoke to the team of technicians assembled around her. "We find out what she's driving and we find her."

"Agent Hansen, we've got the autopsy report on John Casey."

Carina turned to the middle aged, balding man who had just walked up to her. "Cause of death?"

Two gunshot wounds to the head, we don't know which one killed him because we can't tell which one hit first. It was a merciful killing. He never knew he died."

"What do you want to do? Make Walker a saint?" Carina turned to the group. "Find me that escape vehicle," she yelled as she slammed her hand down on the table.

"Agent Hansen."

"What! Do you have something?"

"Uh, the profiler's report is complete. I thought you might want to see it," another technician said.

She took the report from the young man and spent the next three minutes reading. "Very good, until we get something more to go on we follow these recommendations." She turned back to the young technician. "Have copies made and distributed to our agents in the field. Tell them to make their way to Indianapolis. If the profiler's are correct, she should be on I70 going through Indianapolis in two days."

"Agent Hansen, you wanted to know when we found agent Larkin."

"It's about time. Tell Larkin I need his ass here ten minutes ago."

"That's not possible Ma'am,"

She wheeled on the man. "Why? What's wrong?"

"Agent Larkin is dead."

Carina Hansen began to turn red. The longer she stared at the man the redder she got. "Goddamnit, I knew I should have put a tail on her. Goddamnit. She turned to focus her gaze on the latest messenger to suffer for doing his job. "Where was he?"

"He was at a hotel near downtown."

"Goddamnit." She was near the breaking point. She then addressed everyone in the room in a low but deadly voice. "We are going to find that escape vehicle…you got it. We are not leaving this room until we do. I don't care what plans you had or what emergencies exist. You got it. We are going to find that FUCKING CAR," she screamed.

Carina started to walk out of the room when she suddenly stopped. "Has anyone checked the airport?"

"For what?" a technician asked.

"Long term parking idiot. Look at LAX for her black Porsche. Then get a copy of the tapes. I can't believe you haven't done this already. If she gets away I will see to it that no one in the room gets a raise for five years."

All around the room people were hustling to get the information.

"Walker, when I get my hands on you…I swear, you will beg me to kill you." Carina sat down on a desk top and waited.

X-X

Sarah wanted to drive first. She just felt like she was more in control when she was behind the wheel. She knew Chuck was going to be full of questions and the time for dodging them was over.

Eight hours later she had answered all of his questions and had even volunteered some things as well. So by the time they reached Amarillo, Chuck was not a very happy person. What hurt him the most was finding out that Sarah was just doing her job when they got married. That and he still couldn't believe that Casey had planned to kill him. He looked at both Sarah and Casey differently.

"So you're telling me you love me now?" he had asked pouting.

"That's right. Chuck you have to believe me."

"Didn't you tell me you loved me then?"

"That was different. It was my cover."

"So you lied to me then for your cover?"

"That's right," she said emphatically.

"So how do I know that you're not lying to me now?"

"Because I'm risking my life to save yours. That's how I knew that I loved you. When you told me what love was, I knew I had never loved anyone…until now."

Chuck could not deny that Sarah had appeared to have left the CIA on some wild flight to keep him safe. Although he hated being suspicious of people, he found himself second guessing all of Sarah's motives.

"Look Chuck, I know you're hurt. And I'm sorry. I wish that I hadn't married you. I didn't want to because I knew it was a farce. At least on my part and at that time. But I was forced into it. Please give me a chance to make it up to you."

Chuck was silent for a while. "So you killed Bryce and Casey in cold blood?" he said changing to another unbelievable subject.

"No, I did not. I killed them in self defense. If they were alive right now, they would be looking for you and I can tell you they would not hesitate to pull the trigger."

Chuck found it hard to believe that his old college roommate or even Casey, who watched football with him on Sunday afternoons, would be capable of such cold blooded violence.

"I've already told you about that phone call I got from Casey Monday night. And I don't need to remind you how Bryce spoke about you the last time I saw him."

Chuck's anger flared at that. "Yeah, do me a favor and never speak about your adultery again. Would you?"

"That was not adultery. I never committed myself to you. I was just doing my job."

Sarah, surely you can see from my point of view how it might look like adultery. I mean if it looks like adultery and smells like-"

"Chuck, I get it. And no. I can't see your point since I've told you that I was not committed to you."

"All I can tell you Sarah is all of my friends would call it adultery."

"And all of mine would not."

"You mean all that you haven't' killed?" He knew it was a low blow but he was hurting and refused to apologize.

Sarah's eyes stung at that but she refused to look at him so he never knew. She could not remember being hurt so much by mere words. She had been impervious to them in the past. She knew that by falling in love with chuck something else had changed as well.

Chuck saw they were miles apart on this argument and that he would never get her to budge. What he didn't know was if that was her true feelings or was she just not willing to admit she was wrong.

"One more thing Sarah, you cannot kill innocent people to save our lives."

"For the last time, Bryce and Casey were not innocent," she said her voice loud.

"OK, I will give you that. For now. But I can't let you kill people who are innocent and just doing there jobs."

"What are you talking about Chuck?"

"I'm talking about the police, other CIA agents who are just following orders, people walking along the sidewalk when you decide you need to drive your car where they are. That's what I mean by innocent."

"Chuck, don't you want to live?" Sarah said with real curiosity.

"Of course I do. But I also want you to be the woman I married."

That's when it hit her. She was not the woman he fell in love with. It never occurred to her that by playing the role of Sarah Walker, the good spy that the person she really was might not appeal to Chuck.

She said with real fear in her voice. "I don't know if I know how to do both."

Chuck did not get her meaning.

"I don't know if I can keep you alive and be the Sarah Walker you married," she said with misty eyes.

"Look, just don't hurt anyone when you can avoid it, OK?" he said his voice softening.

She shook her head but the conversation left her with serious doubts about her ability to make Chuck happy. That is if they survived the next five days.

X-X

They repeated the same argument twice before reaching Indianapolis. But the ending was always the same. Chuck was unsatisfied and Sarah was convinced she was the wrong woman for Chuck.

As they drove on I 70 just west of the outskirts of town, the airport came into view and Sarah watched the huge FedEx plane taxi to the runway. She then slammed on her brakes seeing that traffic ahead had stalled..

"Damn it, we don't need this," she said looking out the drivers side window to see if she could spot why they had stopped. "You see anything?" she asked.

"Nope, just cars as far as I can see."

As she sat looking at the car in front of her, she noticed a helicopter flying low and driving right above the interstate coming their way. All of a sudden, she got a sick feeling in her gut. "Hang on Chuck," she yelled throwing the car in gear and driving down the huge embankment towards the airport property. When the car was at the bottom of the embankment she floored the gas pedal and crashed through the fence losing the muffler in the process.

"Is the helicopter following us?" she asked.

Chuck stuck his head out the window. "Yeah, their right behind us."

"Fuck…Chuck, if I don't lose that helicopter we're dead." She spotted a private hanger that was used for larger planes and drove towards it in at top speed. She slid the car to a stop just inside the hangar.

She quickly looked around the building taking inventory. "Chuck find me something about three feet long. A two by four, a pipe,…anything like that."

She climbed into the panel van that was inside the hangar to check on the keys and she smiled when she saw them in the ignition.

"Hey you…get out of there." I large man who was obviously a mechanic was walking directly toward her. She quickly got out of the van and began walking in his direction." I'm sorry," she said smiling. "We need to borrow you van for a second."

"Oh no you're not lady."

Sarah was right in front of the man when she motioned toward Chuck. "My husband over there-"

When the man looked toward Chuck, Sarah jumped on his back wrapping her right arm deep under his neck and pulled down hard. She knew what she was doing but he was a big strong guy and he started hitting her with his elbow in the same place over and over. He was not unaccustomed to defending himself she discovered.

He began to twist and turn wildly, trying to get her to loosen her grip on his neck as he struggled to get a new gulp of air. He suddenly backed up hard ramming her into the panel van using all of his massive bulk to get her to loosen her grip. She let out a gasp but fought with every ounce of strength she had to hang on.

"Chuck, get your ass over her and help me or I will have to take this guy out," she yelled at the top of her lungs.

The man just kept raining elbows to her ribs. But he was starting to slow down.

"What do you want me to do?" he asked running up to her.

"Hit him. Hit him in the stomach," she yelled wincing at the latest blow.

Chuck went to position himself to strike the man who was busy turning his stomach away from Chuck. Suddenly, he stopped and dropped to his knees, his eyes starting to bulge.. Just as Sarah knew, the additional effort would delete the air from his lungs quicker. She held him into he was out cold.

Releasing her grip, he hit the floor with a sickening thud. She looked up at Chuck in obvious pain. "Did you find something?" she asked hopefully and stole a look at the huge door of the hangar.

"Will this do?" he asked producing a piece of guttering.

"Yeah, you go over there and get some coveralls and put them on. Try to find a hat too."

Sarah ran to the van stopping on the way to get a five gallon can of diesel fuel. Sitting the can in the passenger's seat, she started the van. She put it in neutral and rammed the piece of guttering on the gas pedal collapsing it halfway to the floor. She turned the steering wheel slightly aiming for the fuel truck outside. She took a quick look around and rammed the van into gear. Without waiting to see the results of her work she ran towards Chuck, who had just finished putting on his overalls. She found herself a pair and quickly put them on and then tucked her hair under a hat that she found by the side door.

Just as she finished with the hat, the whole building shook from the explosion of the van colliding with the fuel truck.

"Follow me," she said going out the employee's entrance. She ran to the parking lot and stopped at the first car she looked at. She silently thanked whoever the owner was for leaving his keys in the car.

Get in," she yelled as she slid into the car wincing from the pain in her side.

The helicopter was hovering over the explosion and did not notice the two as they drove away.

She drove slowly not to attract attention. She took a back road out of the airport making sure to stay away from the interstate.

She traveled northwest. She had decided that she would eventually make her way to I 80 and then onto Boston.

She drove for about two hours until she saw an old farmhouse with a barn. It looked deserted. She pulled into the barn and got out of the car holding her side. The pain had gotten much worse and she let out a gasp with each step.

Chuck put her arm over his shoulder and helped her into the old farmhouse. He had to kick in the door but it opened easy enough. Sarah was surprised to find the house still had furniture. She made her way to the one bed she found and took care to lay down without causing too much pain.

"Ok, we've gotta take a look at your ribs," Chuck said after seeing the pain she wore on her face. She held her arms straight over her head and Chuck pulled the tee shirt over her head and arms as gently as he could.

"Oh shit, Sarah this looks bad." He looked from her ugly black bruising to her face. He was very concerned. "What do I do?" he asked.

"See if there's any Ibuprofen and tear up a sheet into six inch wide strips."

Chuck went about finding the items she asked for. He found the sheet and tore it into strips but the only pain medication he found was aspirin which she refused to take.

"I may be bleeding internally and aspirin is the last thing I need."

Chuck carefully removed Sarah's shoes and socks and then her pants. Sitting her up as gently as he could, he then wrapped the strips from the sheet around her body pulling it tight. She winced in pain but told him to pull even tighter. He then used two safety pins that Sarah had in her purse to keep the tension on the strips.

He went to the refrigerator but there was no ice.

Sarah was asleep when he got back to her. Although she slept very lightly she did get some sleep off and on. Chuck kept a worried eye on her throughout the night as he found it difficult to sleep through her moaning. She woke up early and insisted on hitting the road at first light.

Chuck drove keeping his general direction northeast. Sarah tried to sleep but the road was bumpy and she groaned every time she was jostled. Chuck became more and more concerned as time went by.

He eventually came to a small town in northern Indiana called Berne, a small Amish area.

Chuck drove to the local drugstore and was amazed to see the horse buggies tied to the post out front.

He went inside and bought a large bottle of Ibuprofen, a couple bottles of water and an ace bandage.

"Would you have a doctor in town?" he asked the pharmacist.

"Sure, but you got to wait until he's in town."

"When will that be?" Chuck asked.

"Next Tuesday."

"Next Tuesday? Is there anyone else?"

"Next Tuesday, my boy or you can drive into the city."

"OK, what city?"

The pharmacists looked at Chuck as though he was crazy. "What city? Ft. Wayne, of course."

"Oh yeah, right. My bad. I'll just take her to Ft Wayne then," Chuck said shaking his head as he left the building. "Ft Wayne? jeeze where the hell am I?" he whispered to himself.

Just as he was getting into the car an old Amish man came out of the building. "What kind o trouble do ye find yerself in?" he said in an accent so thick Chuck could hardly understand what he said.

"Uh, well it's my wife," he said acutely aware that it was the first time since all of this begin that he referred to Sarah as his wife. It felt good but odd in a way.

"Follo me to the farm then, okey?"

"Okay, yeah thanks," he said getting into the car.

Thirty minutes later they had traveled the five miles to the old Amish man's farm. Just as Chuck was about to get out, Sarah roused herself and said, "Car, hide the car."

"Uh, sir. Would it be OK if I put the car in your barn over there?"

The old man looked at Chuck then the car and then to Sarah. He looked around the countryside before responded. "Okey, close the door when ye come out."

Before parking the car, Chuck helped Sarah into the house following the old man into the front door. He had never seen sparser furnishings.

"Put her over zere on ye bed," he said and turned to a young man that was looking at the new guests in wonder.

"Don't jist stand zere with ye teeth in ye mouth boy. Go get zee Doc."

The boy looked at Chuck and then at Sarah. It was a good bet he had never seen as beautiful a woman before in his life and he just stared for a moment.

"Boy," the old man bellowed.

The boy was out of the house like a shot.

X-X

Three days under the care of the Amish doctor had done wonders for Sarah. She was up and walking with a no visible side effects of the horrible beating she had taken from the airplane mechanic. She was in no condition to get into another fight but she could walk

The last night they spent at the house of the old man named Zephaniah, they sat out alone on the front porch. They had reached a truce between them. Chuck had not forgiven her but put his issues behind him. He was still concerned about her injuries.

"Chuck, we have to ditch the car. They will find us within a day if we try to take that car to Boston," she said not attempting to hide the concern she felt.

"Ye need a nother car ye say?" Zephaniah said joining them from the house onto the front porch.

"Yeah, we're kind of in trouble, not from the police but from some other people…dangerous people," Chuck said.

"I get a car ye can have," he said as though he were offering Chuck a stick of gum.

"Really, what kind?'

"I don't know what ye call it, but it's purty. Ye can have it," he said getting up to go to the car. Both Chuck and Sarah followed him not believing that it could be anything drivable.

They could not have been more surprised when he open the barn door to reveal a nineteen fifty seven Chevy. Red with white tail fins.

"You gotta be kidding me. Zephaniah, you're not serious are you?"

"I get no need for ze car. Some young man traded it for ze gun I had once. Been dere ever since."

Sarah jumped into the car and fired it up. It purred like a kitten. Both she and Chuck looked at Zephaniah in wonder.

"Well I take care of her. One of my boys knows how to work on cars. He's gonna kill his mother with all of his new ways."

Chuck went over to the old man and shook his hand warmly. "If I can ever do anything for you, I will…I owe you."

"Ye kids just get yeself to where ye need to be. There's nothing here for ye except yeselves. As ye get older, ye come to understand that."

Chuck and Sarah looked at each other and then to Zephaniah. "Goodbye," they yelled in unison as they left the farm house on the way to Boston.

Sarah felt renewed hope. She might just get Chuck there afterall. Now if she could just do something about the feeling of needing to leave him…for his sake.


	8. You Say Goodbye And I Say Hello

A/N: Moving the story along to the end. Two chapters left.

You Say Goodbye and I Say Hello

"Sarah, why are we here in Boston?" Chuck said from the passenger seat of the car.

"We need to get out of the country and a friend of mine can help us do that," she said without looking at him. The Fifty Seven Chevy looked real good on Sarah as she drove along the harbor area looking for an apartment loft she hadn't been to in six years.

"A friend of yours? You mean a friend like Bryce?"

Sarah looked at him. Appraising him. "No, not a friend like Bryce…a real friend. Probably the only friend I've had since I joined the agency."

"I see…how can he help us get out of the country?"

"He's a merchant marine captain. Or at least he was. I'm not even sure if he lives here anymore."

"How did you meet this guy, on some mission?"

"Yeah, but he wasn't the target. He just got caught up in everything as it went down."

"Does he know what you do?"

"No, I'm sure he suspects I'm not who I said I was."

"Why, who did you say you were?"

"I was supposed to be a banker of some kind as I recall, I've had so many different alias' that it's hard to remember what alias I used on a specific mission.

Chuck laughed so hard he had to wipe a tear from his eye. Sarah, I don't know who came up with the idea of you being a banker but they need there head examined."

"I don't know. I pulled off the wiener girl ok, didn't I?"

Chuck looked at Sarah and smiled. It was a real smile. Probably the first real smile he had since he found out everything about her. They both enjoyed the moment until suddenly Chuck's face went blank as her remembered what Sarah had done to him.

Sarah grew pensive. "Are you ever going to be able to forgive me?" she asked hoping to get an honest answer. She waited for what seemed like forever for him to respond. In fact, he responded immediately without taking time to think.

" Absolutely yes, without a doubt. I just need some time…you know, to work through all of this. Sarah, don't think I don't understand what you've done for me. You've given up your job, one that you absolutely loved, to save me. When I rationalize everything, I know you love me. And…I love you." He stopped talking to look at his hands in his lap. "It's just that I don't know you. It is so weird to feel this way about you and then realize I don't know the first thing about you."

"You know some things…like I hate olives. That's real."

Chuck smiled at that. "And, you don't like music."

It was time for Sarah to look away embarrassed.

"Uh, well that was an outgrowth from our very first fake date. Actually, I love music," she said looking at Chuck and seeing that again she had hurt him by her dishonesty while she had been his handler.

"When is this going to end?" he said

"What do you mean?"

"I mean when am I going to get to know the real you?"

It was now time for Sarah to verbalize her biggest fear. "What scares me the most Chuck is that when you do get to know me you won't like who I am."

"Sarah, that's not going to happen."

"Why not? How can you be so sure?"

"Because I know…because…well just because."

"You didn't really convince me with your logic and concise eloquence," she said trying to smile.

Chuck ignored her attempt at humor. "Sarah, I just know. I can't say it any better than that…I just know."

Sarah liked hearing it on one level but the conversation left her feeling more and more as though she and Chuck would not be ideal for each other. And she knew that he deserved better than settling. In her mind that's what he would be doing. Settling for who she was and not who she pretended to be.

She snapped out of her thoughts when she spotted a familiar building. "That's it. I'm pretty sure that's Anton's loft."

Sarah found a parking spot out front and led Chuck into the building. They got into the elevator and she pushed the button to the second floor. Leaving the elevator, Chuck followed her to an unnumbered door. She gave a quick smile before knocking. They heard footsteps before the hand on the door. When it opened, Chuck saw a man who was about his size with jet black hair and steel gray eyes. He was ruggedly handsome and about ten years older than Sarah.

He looked at Chuck for an instant and then focused on Sarah like a carnivore that had spotted its next meal.

"Sarah Walker…I never thought I would see you again," he said as he wrapped her in a bear hug. He lifted her off the ground just before letting her down and letting her go.

"Anton, it is so good to see you again. You look fantastic." Sarah said laughing as he sat her down.

Chuck stood by watching the two and finally cleared his throat.

"Oh, I'm sorry. Chuck, this is Anton Sclaresi and Anton this is my husband Chuck Bartowski."

Chuck noticed the look of surprise and a hint of disappointment on Anton's face when Sarah introduced him as her husband. Chuck knew in an instant that this man had once had deep feelings for Sarah. For all he knew he still did.

After Chuck and Anton shook hands they just stood facing each other for an awkward moment.

"Oh, come in. Come in, I don't know where my manners are. Please come in and make yourselves comfortable."

Chuck followed Sarah into the apartment and looked around. "Wow, this is pretty nice. I guess you love it here?" Chuck asked.

"I do, but I'm not here much," he said as he led them to the open living area.

He offered them a seat and Sarah sat next to Chuck and put her hand on his leg.

Chuck noticed that Anton noticed the little sign of affection.

"Can I get you something to drink? Coffee, a soft drink maybe?"

Chuck and Sarah both answered in unison that they were OK.

Another awkward silence ensued and finally Sarah just blurted out. "Anton, we need your help."

He wore a puzzled expression as he looked at Chuck momentarily then back to Sarah. "Yes, whatever you need, if I can provide it, you know I will."

"We need to get out of the country as soon as possible. To be more precise, we need to go to Scotland."

"Scotland? Why…I see. Well I was scheduled to go to South Africa in two days but I suppose I can trade off."

This was better than Sarah had hoped for. In three days they could be out of the country and headed for relative safety.

"That would be perfect. I need at least a day to make some final arrangements here in town and then we are ready to go," she said

**"**Not so fast. I have to make sure I can do it. I don't know for sure who's going to England, I'll make some phone calls and I'll try to get everything arranged."

"Anton, you don't know how much this means to me."

"I am happy to do it. Now, where are you staying while you're in Boston?"

"We were going to get a hotel."

"Nonsense, you are staying with me. No arguments, end of discussion. OK?"

"OK," Sarah said smiling.

I've got a spare bedroom right over there," he said pointing to one of the few actual doors in the loft.

Anton looked from Chuck to Sarah. He saw how happy she was. "How long have you two been married?"

"What's it been sweetie, over two months now but sometimes it seems like it was only yesterday." Chuck shot Sarah a knowing look.

Sarah smiled at the inside joke. As far as she was concerned they were married officially the day they ran.

"Newlyweds, well I am grateful that you chose to see me even if under these mysterious circumstances."

"Anton, this is very serious. We have some very committed people looking for us. I'm not going to lie to you. It could get very dangerous if we are found."

"I told you that I owe you. And that one day if I could I would repay you. I never really thought I would get the chance but I'm delighted that I have. I will gladly take you to Scotland. No one but us three will ever know." He stood up and looked at them both. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have some arrangements to make," he said leaving Chuck and Sarah to themselves.

It was funny. They had been traveling together on the run since Chuck found out about Sarah. But now, sitting in this living room everything seemed so normal and…so awkward.

"Sarah, can I ask you a question?"

Sarah had always cringed when Chuck started a question that way. But this time she was much more at ease. "Sure," she said.

"Do you really think of me as your husband now or are we still in some kind of cover mode?"

Upon seeing the expression on Sarah's face, Chuck regretted his question. He saw immediately that Sarah did regard him as her husband and that she was hurt that he would even ask her the question.

"I'm sorry if that was insensitive but I'm really trying to understand what's going on between us. I know you love me. I know you've given up a lot for me. I just wasn't sure if you now considered me your husband because we fake got married or was there something else," he said realizing that he wasn't digging out of the hole he was in.

"I love you. We're legally married. How else should I refer to you?" she said in an angry whisper looking around for Anton. Her temper had flared.

"I'm sorry. I just needed to know where you stand. I didn't mean to be hurtful."

"I thought with everything that's happened to us that you at least knew that I thought of you as…as mine."

"I want to be more than yours. I want to be your husband."

Sarah calmed down with that. "I glad. Chuck, we're still getting to know each other in some ways. I sometimes forget that you don't know me all that well and I know you very well. It's an unusual situation for a married couple."

They both chuckled at their situation. It eased the tension in the room.

"Hey, why Scotland?" Chuck asked suddenly.

Sarah smiled at that. "You'll see. That's a surprise." She grabbed his hand when she heard Anton come back into the room.

"We're all set. I'll leave for Scotland in two days."

Sarah got up and gave Anton a big hug. "We are even after this," she said with a tear in her eye.

"Chuck, why don't you get our things out of the car and bring them up. Anton, if I could use the shower, I would really appreciate it?"

"But of course."

X-X

That night as Sarah and Chuck went to bed in Anton's spare bedroom, they were both a little uncomfortable. This seemed almost normal which added to the awkwardness of the situation.

They had not made love since they had been on the run. For all of those nights, for one reason or another it was not an option. This night was different. They both felt it.

Sarah wanted to but was afraid to initiate anything. She knew to be turned down by Chuck would be devastating to her at this point. And…she wasn't sure how he would respond.

Chuck on the other hand was still hurting and did not have the confidence to initiate anything.

For them both this felt in many ways like a first time. For Chuck, because he knew that Sarah had been ordered to marry him and now this was her own choice. And for Sarah, because she knew that she had opened herself up to him and now this was real…for both of them.

To add to the awkwardness was the fact that the bed was just a full size bed which left little room for two adults.

Sarah slept in the same pajama's she always had in their marriage but tonight she was self conscious. For some reason she did not fathom, she felt more exposed. She got into bed first and lay on her side facing away from Chuck. When she felt his weight on the bed she held her breath.

After a few minutes had passed and she had not felt his touch, she needed to know that everything was at least heading in a direction that would allow them to stay together.

"Chuck, do you think we'll be alright?"

Misunderstanding her question, he put his hand on her hip as he spoke. Although she shuttered at his touch, he did not feel it. "Sarah, I have confidence in you. Ever since I've known you, you've protected me. I'm certain well be ok," he said. He didn't know why but he got the distinct impression that his answer left Sarah completely unsatisfied.

Sarah went to sleep that night with the embryo of a plan in her mind. She was not one to let life happen to her. She had learned through the CIA to take charge and accept responsibility for the things you want.

She had not completely made up her mind but she knew that before she made it to Scotland she would know whether she would risk everything or would she stay with Chuck.


	9. Sail Away

A/N: I have to apologize. I had one more chapter planned but because of a sudden lack of time to write, I completed this story with this chapter. I hope you all enjoy it.

Sail Away

"And this will be your home for the next three weeks," Anton said looking from Chuck to Sarah.

They had been given one of the officer's quarters for the trip. It was a large room about fifteen by thirty. It had a master bath and a king size bed. Anton had made arrangements for their meals to be delivered to their room. They were not supposed to leave under any circumstances.

"Anton, I can't tell you how much this means to me?" Sarah said looking seriously toward their benefactor.

"Sarah, you know how pleased I am to be able to help you," he said and then turned to Chuck. "I hope you know just how lucky you are?" It was the way he said it that left no doubt that he was in love with Sarah.

"I truly do, Anton." Chuck looked at Sarah and smiled.

And so Chuck and Sarah settled in for a long ride across the North Atlantic on their way to Scotland. They had three weeks to get to know each other and nowhere to run when things got a little sticky.

They had not made love ever since Sarah had come clean about her marriage to Chuck. But even though it was unspoken, there was something just known between the two that tonight would be the night when they made the attempt to get closer, to start the journey back to where they hoped to be.

They were both a little nervous for different reasons. Chuck had assumed that he had always pleased Sarah in bed but when he found out that their marriage had been a lie, he became self conscious and then he remembered that one time when she initiated sex and it was nothing like they had always done before. He worried that that was what she liked, not that he didn't enjoy it…but it didn't seem like love.

Sarah was anxious because this night was the first night that she was going to be intimate with someone. She had slept with various men, she had even slept with Chuck but now…tonight. It was real and she knew it. And, she knew that he knew it.

Chuck was already in bed when Sarah climbed under the covers. They lay together without speaking when suddenly Chuck laid his hand on her leg. Her breath caught at the touch and she turned to face him.

They stared at each other wordlessly and then crashed into each other.

X-X

Their first full day together started out pretty good. They felt reassured after the night before. It was obvious to both of them that they both loved each other. So after breakfast that was brought into the room by a steward, they began to get to know each other.

They sat on the small sofa inside the room facing each other. Chuck had his arm running along the back of the couch and one leg up while the other foot was on the floor. Sarah had both legs tucked up under her as she faced her husband. They were both in their pajamas and one or the other would dart out their hand just to feel the skin of other. Just to know that they were available to each other.

They started out by asking simple questions of each other like favorite color and favorite song. Sarah knew much more about Chuck than Chuck knew about her. So for him even the most basic questions were exciting. That lasted for almost thirty minutes when finally Chuck delved a little deeper.

"Sarah, do you believe in God?"

She looked at him surprised that he went from pretty cosmetic questions to the meaning of life questions with nothing in between.

"I don't know. I guess it depends on your definition of God. If you're asking me about someone keeping an eye on what each and every one of us are doing every second of the day? No. But I do believe there is a higher power. And that our lives have some kind of meaning beyond this world." She looked at him to gage his reaction. "And I guess I would have to say that I think there is such a thing as destiny or fate, whatever you want to call it. That in some general way the universe knows what its doing." She watched Chuck nod his head as though he was in agreement. "What about you?"

"I think I agree with you. I've never thought of the universe as being some sort of mastermind but that's as plausible as anything else I guess. So on religion, I would have to say we are in agreement," he said smiling.

She smiled back and then dipped her head suddenly. "Chuck, I want to ask you this because I know it's something we most likely won't agree on." Sarah raised her head to look into Chuck's eyes. "I know in the past when Casey and I would talk about the greater good, I would sometimes here a snide remark or sometimes it was just not quite audible but I know you don't agree with our feeling about the greater good."

"Oh, I agree about the greater good. Sometimes an individual has to make a sacrifice for the group. No, I think you misunderstood me. What I didn't agree with was your assessment of what the greater good was." He looked her in the eye momentarily. "I think it was Thomas Jefferson who said, _no one can acquire honor by doing what is wrong." _He looked at her. "I know I spent way too much time listening to my teachers in history class." They shared a laugh which lightened the mood for an instant."I just never thought that you sleeping with someone or even pretending to like someone qualified for the greater good."

Sarah smiled at him. "Chuck, you don't understand. Those things are necessary because-"

"Come on Sarah. You or anyone else for that mater sleeping with someone to get information…If it isn't right, it isn't right."

"Chuck, we'll have to disagree on this one."

"Not so fast. You tell me something. Do you think you have a sense of right and wrong?"

"Yeah," she said as if she didn't like where he was going.

"Ok, how did you feel when you had to deceive someone to get informa-?"

He stopped mid-sentence and looked at her. She saw where he was going and actually flinched as she realized what he was about to say.

"Not to bring up painful memories for both of us, but how did your lying to me about our marriage qualify for the greater good."

Sarah had turned white. Her position was indefensible and she knew it. And if it was indefensible with what she did with Chuck, logically it was indefensible with all the others that she lied to in one way or another to get information.

"Chuck, you're twisting this into something its not."

"Am I? I don't think I'm twisting anything. I'm just saying that the end does not justify the means. I'll bet you've been taught by the CIA just the opposite?"

He had her there and she knew it. A basic tenant of CIA philosophy was the end justifies the means. Sarah was confused. This was something that she was always rock solid with. And now Chuck had come along and in just one conversation, had shattered one of her most solid beliefs.

She had thought that she would get the better of him on this subject and was still rattled when Chuck asked his next question of her.

"Ok, next question. Fidelity?"

"What?"

"You know… fidelity?"

"Are you asking me if I'll be faithful in our marriage?"

"No, well yeah, indirectly."

Chuck saw that Sarah was hurt by his question. "Look, I'm not accusing you of anything. I just want to know how you feel about monogamy in a marriage?"

"Oh, I don't know. I've never considered being in a real relationship." She shook her head. "No, I know how I feel about it. I know it would hurt you if I was unfaithful so I would never do that."

Chuck smiled at her. He liked her answer.

"Ok, my turn. If I was unfaithful, would you forgive me?" she said.

"You're kidding right?"

"No, I want to know. Would you forgive me?"

"Of course I would. It might take a while to get over the hurt but I would forgive you," he said and watched her frown ever so slightly.

As they talked Sarah began to see a pattern in their conversation. Actually, she didn't really come to understand what it was until about two weeks into the voyage. But after the first day, the more they talked the more she knew that something was wrong.

X-X

When the journey began, Chuck was unsure about three weeks cooped up in one room with nothing to do but read. Uh, well there was one other thing to do and he did enjoy that but the point is that the time went by quicker than he thought possible.

The shipped docked at Aberdeen as scheduled and Sarah and Chuck waited the five hours until nightfall to depart the ship. By that time, there were just a few men that drew the unlucky assignment of standing watch. Anton was there to see them off as well.

"I guess you're not going to tell me where you're going?" he asked already knowing the answer.

'I'm sorry Anton, but we have to disappear. Maybe one day it will be different but for now we have to fall off the grid," Sarah said and then hugged him. He then shook Chuck's hand and watched them depart the ship. "You better take good care of her Chuck," he yelled at them. "If you don't she knows were to find me." Anton watched the two until they were out of sight. He silently went back to his quarters. He planned on having a long evening with a buddy named Jack. He was going to drink her off of his mind this night.

X-X

Sarah hailed a small cab and had them taken to a car rental station in the center of the city. Chuck was just along for the ride having no idea where they were going. Fifteen minutes later they were in a Renault and Sarah was driving through the Scottish port city of Aberdeen as though she had been her before.

"Do you know where you're going?" Chuck asked her amazed that she was comfortable driving on the left side of the road.

"Sure I know where I'm going."

"I didn't mean that. I meant that you seem to know the city."

"Oh, yeah…I've been here two or three times in the past." It was the way she said it that told Chuck she didn't want to talk about the past right now. He dropped the subject.

Forty minutes later they had left the city and the country opened up to show the beauty of Scotland.

"This is absolutely the most breathtaking country I've ever seen," Chuck said.

Sarah smiled at him. "You recognize anything yet?"

He looked at her confused. "I don't understand."

"Nevermind, we've got a few miles to go yet."

"Sarah, what's going on?"

"You'll see."

As hard as he tried, he could not coax anymore from her. But he couldn't help but notice the smile on her face as she drove.

They stopped at a bed and breakfast in Inverness for the night and then headed up towards the Scottish Highlands the next morning. Chuck could not stop gasping in amazement at the beauty of the open land.

"Sarah, I don't know what you have in mind but I could stay forever here. I've never seen a place that calls to me here," he said pointing to his chest. "It's just unbelievable."

Sarah's smile deepened as she knew she had chosen well. She also knew they needed a place where the CIA would not look for them but also a place where they could be happy. She remembered Chuck reading the National Geographic magazine on the Scottish Highlands and decided that that was as good a place as any. She had been to Scotland a handful of times and knew how isolated the Highlands were and also how private the people were. If she and Chuck could somehow become part of the people here, she knew they would help keep the CIA or anyone else asking questions at bay.

Around mid-morning they stopped at a small town called Whiterow that lay just off the North Sea. Sarah had to ask around at the grocery store for the Greenfox Solicitors and Estate Agents. After receiving directions she drove to the building in question.

"Come on Chuck, let's go in. I want you to meet someone."

Chuck wordlessly got out of the car and followed her into the building. Once inside, he marveled at the old time luxury of the place, the antiques were older than our country, he thought.

Sarah walked up to the receptionist. "I'm looking for an Ian McAlester," she said.

"May I tell him who's calling?" she said in so thick an accent that Chuck could scarcely understand her.

"Yes, tell him the Chuck and Sarah Bartowski is here."

Chuck's head snapped around to look at Sarah. He wordlessly asked his question.

"When you were at Anton's house and I had to run some errands…I had my name changed…as well as some other things that needed taken care of."

Chuck would have kissed her there and then but was interrupted by Ian McAlester.

"Mr. and Mrs. Bartowski, what a pleasure it is to finally meet you. I have the paperwork already. All you have to do is sign and hand over the certified check and we'll call the deal done."

Chuck had no idea what he was talking about but knew enough after working with Sarah for all of this time to just play along.

"Very well then. Let's get started," he said while giving Sarah that wild eyed look that said what am I doing?

Twenty minutes later they emerged from the Greenfox Agency as the owners of a sheep farm located just five miles outside of town. They got in the car and just sat facing forward not speaking for a long moment. Finally, chuck began to speak.

"Sarah, how could you…where did you get the money to buy this?"

She saw by the look on his face that he was in shock. She couldn't tell yet whether it was good shock or bad. "Chuck, we needed a place to hide and this is the place I chose. I hope you can be happy here? As for the money, the CIA owed us as I see it. I used some of my cover money. What are they going to do…? Kill us?" She held her breath hoping that he was OK with this.

Chuck turned to her with tears in his eyes. "I love it. You could not have thought of a better place. I can't wait to see the farm."

Twenty minutes and three wrong turns later, they pulled up to a large but very rustic looking cabin. It somehow reminded Chuck of the house the Cartwright's lived on in Bonanza that he watched on TV Land as a little boy.

"Here it is Chuck…home sweet home. At least for a few years."

Chuck gave her a puzzled look.

"Chuck by my guess, we will only have to hide out like this until the information in your head is of no use to anyone. You know how quickly things change. Five years from now the CIA will have forgotten all about you."

Chuck smiled and got out of the car. "This is really ours," he said.

"It's yours."

Chuck looked at her confused. "Why mine and not ours?" he said knowing he wasn't going to like her answer.

Her smile faded.

"Look Chuck, I've had some time to think about us," she said turning her back to him. She then turned around quickly to look into his eyes. "Here's the thing. Ever since we got to Anton's place and then especially on the ship. I've come to understand I don't really know who I am. How can I be the woman you want if I don't even know who I am?"

"Sarah, what are you saying?"

"The farm is in your name because it will be easier if I don't come back."

"What do you mean don't come back…are you leaving me?"

"No," she said with conviction. But then her gaze faltered. "But I am going away for a while."

"Going away…where too?"

"I can't tell you that."

"Why not," he said anger creeping into his voice.

"Could you promise me that you would not come looking for me if this took longer than I think it will?"

Chuck wanted to give her the answer that might make her tell him where she was going. But he could not lie to her. "No, I can't make that promise."

"And that's why I can't tell you. I'm still you protector and I know if you leave this area …you stand a good chance of getting caught on your own. You don't know all the ways they can find you. One slip and you're dead. I will not take that chance."

"So you're going to leave me here by myself?"

"Yes."

"Why?" he was struggling to keep his composure. He had tried to win her from the moment he first met her. Then when he was about to give up she seemed to have a change of heart. Then they got married only for him to find out she was just doing her job. Only when the CIA put a hit on him did she come to terms with her feeling for him. And now that he's finally got her… she's leaving. It was more than he could take.

"When," he said emotionlessly.

"In a week or two. I want to make sure that you're gonna be OK here on your own," she said and noticed that they had company arriving from the workers building.

"Hello, are you the new owners?" one of three men said as they walked up to Chuck and Sarah.

"Yes, I'm Sarah Bartowski and this is my husband Chuck."

The three men shook hands with Chuck and Sarah and introduced themselves. There was Dugal McCree, Graeme Wilbraham and the lead man, Ainsley Fairholm.

"I expectin you'll be wanting to see the place," Ainsley said.

"Yes but not right now. Chuck and I are tired. Could you help us get our things into the house?"

"Sure thing Ma'am," they said in unison.

X-X

Sarah stayed for two weeks just to make sure that Chuck was OK. He was still upset with her for leaving him but after two weeks of discussion, he had come to believe that she was really doing this for them. Even if he didn't agree, he could not feel bad that she wanted what they had to be the best it could be. He knew she believed that she would have to discover who she was and what she believed in before she could ever be the woman Chuck thought she was.

She had packed very lightly; leaving most of her clothes here at the cabin. On the morning she was to leave they got up before dawn and made love. They talked of the future about the day when she would be walking up the lane and not walking down the lane.

As they waited for the sun's light to brighten the day and give her leave of Chuck, she spoke to him of what he had come to mean to her. She told him that she would write to him once a month. She didn't want to say the last of it but knew she had to.

"If five weeks goes by and I haven't written, it probably means that I can't." She held her breath for his response.

"What do you mean, can't?"

"I mean the only way I won't write is if I'm dead, OK?"

Chuck stared at her for a second wordlessly and then grabbed her with both arms and held her tight. "Don't you dare not come back to me," he whispered in her ear.

"I won't, I promise," she said wiping at her eyes.

X-X

The weather was gorgeous and the ocean view was spectacular. Chuck had grown up looking at the Pacific Ocean but he somehow found the North Sea to be so much more alive. Its anger was sometimes breathtaking as it lashed out at the shore.

Chuck's farm was on the ocean and his cabin was close enough to feel the spray when the wind was right.

Chuck and Sarah stood outside the cabin facing one another. They were saying goodbye.

As they broke from their embrace, Sarah saw the taxi pull up at he end of the lane.  
"I've gotta go, Chuck."

"Sarah, promise me that wherever you go and whatever it is you have to do…just stay safe. Please stay safe," he said wiping at his eyes.

Sarah smiled through her tears as well. "Just remember Chuck, you and I have a destiny together. I feel it…don't you?"

He just nodded his head.

"I don't think the universe has brought us to this point just to take it all away. I just don't believe that."

The taxi honked its horn and she turned to look at it. "I've got to go but remember, I will write every month. Before you know it I will be back."

Chuck watched her leave. It was the loneliest feeling that he had ever known watching her back as she walked away from him. Although he loved the farm and he could tell that his farm hands were all good men, he just didn't know how he was going to make it here without Sarah.

After the taxi was out of sight, he turned around to look at his cabin. He liked it and he liked the farm. It was green and hilly with rocks jutting out of the land randomly. And the ocean was grey and always moving with whitecaps constantly searching for shore.

He knew that given his circumstances that he should be pretty happy. At least he was alive. But he knew that he would not be happy until Sarah returned.

X-X

He remembered how excited he was when her first letter came.

And then the second.

By the time he had read her seventh letter, he had grown accustomed to his farm. He loved it. He felt connected to this land in a way that he could not explain. Except there was a whole in his heart.

And so this morning started like all the other mornings, the sun rose, he ate some breakfast and then went outside to begin his work. He had started getting up earlier than his workers just to have some time alone. He walked out the door and as was his custom, he looked out over the North Sea. By now it was the heart of the Highland winter and the parka he wore was an absolute necessity. It seemed to Chuck as though in the early morning hour that's when the universe was most willing to speak with him and he cherished the time. It brought him closer to Sarah.

If the universe ever did speak to him it was through the mouthpiece of the North Sea. Chuck could watch it for hours. It seemed to have a mind of its own at times.

He looked at the lane and visualized seeing Sarah walking up it towards the house. It made him smile but also made him heart sick. He missed her so much and her next letter wouldn't be for at least two more weeks.

Turning to the back of the house to get some coal for the fire, he looked up towards the mountains of the Scottish Highlands. He didn't know whether the Highlands themselves or the North Sea actually moved him more.

He took the coal inside and then opened the door to his cabin and stepped out into the cold. He looked over at the cabin that his men lived in and thought about grabbing some coffee with them. But just as he took his first step towards the cabin, he stopped dead in his tracks.

He slowly looked down toward the end of the lane and began to smile from ear to ear. There slowly walking up towards him was the parka clad Sarah Bartowski. She had not seen him yet but then suddenly she stopped as she spotted him.

They stood still regarding each other when she began to walk towards him. He followed at a much slower pace. He could not see her face because of the huge hood of the parka but he knew somehow that she was smiling too.

As they met he looked into her eyes. They seemed different. Somehow at peace, he thought. He wrapped her in his arms and squeezed her tight.

He had been lost without her. But now as he stood on his land at the base of the Northwest Archipelago with the sound of the North Sea assaulting the Scottish shoreline as it had for millennium past, he know this was who he as supposed to be. He knew as well that Sarah was a part of who he was. And with her here now, he felt complete.

The cold damp air whipped about as though it had a mind of it's own. It didn't bother Chuck. In fact, it carried a message…it was a feeling really.

He felt that the whole universe since the beginning of time existed for this moment. That all of the secrets of the universe were working for this purpose. To bring them together.

Here.

Now.

He knew as he released his hold on her to look into her eyes, her wonderful eyes that this was the beginning of their life together.

He turned to walk towards the cabin wrapping her arm in his and he grew more excited with each step. He sensed a difference in her. He couldn't wait to get to know Sarah all over again. He was absolutely sure they would make it this time. Afterall, the universe had had over thirteen billion years to get this right.

**A/N: I have opened a forum topic for this story. If anyone has any questions or additional comments please go to the form site, topic Catch Her If You Can, and ask. I would love to hear what you think. **

LeeCan


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